A chicken walks into a bar.
Chicken: Knock knock.
Bartender: Who’s there?
Chicken: Theo.
Bartender: Theo who?
Chicken: Theo Therside.

Super Sunday: Cosmic King and Nork

The Cosmic King

Exposed to the same otherworldly energy that created the Cosmic Chief, the Cosmic King gained similar powers. But instead of remaining on Earth, this newly empowered individual withdrew to a pocket dimensional realm of his own creation. Kidnapping a number of innocents to serve him, the self-appointed Cosmic King ruled over a mentally-crafted realm, that resembled a medieval fantasty land, for centuries until the arrival of the superhero Justice-Man changed things.

Justice-Man, as I have mentioned before, is the most fleshed-out superhero I created as a kid. I used July to do Justice-Man-related heroes during Superhero Sunday year, and I used it to do Justice-Man-related villains, but I didn’t think I’d have enough material to do it in Supernatural year, since I created Justice-Man when I thought hard-sci-fi was the best way to go. While I would never stoop to limit what can happen in a superhero story now, as a kid, for a while, I didn’t want any magic or aliens in there making things “unrealistic”. So I was prepared to skip Justice-Man until I found a single note referring to this story, accompanied by the Cosmic King surrounded by a handful of demon servants. Well, why not take those demons and turn them into something, I thought. Ain’t nobody around to stop me.

Nork the Reader

When the Cosmic King created his mystical realm, the thing he spent the most of his cosmic power in the act of creating six demonic servants to help him. Foremost among them was Nork. Even with his vast power, the King knew he needed knowledge to create a whole pocket dimension. For that purpose he stole books written by the greatest thinkers of his day and had them stored in a library in his new castle. Nork’s job was to read and understand all the natural philosophy so that the King could create a functioning ecosystem. Basically, he was the King’s science advisor.

When Justice-Man arrived and began leading a rebellion against the tyrant King, he made a point to reach Nork and tell him about the world outside the King’s realm, and how things had changed. Being familiar with many works of philosophy, Nork had a yen for something else, and was swayed to Justice-Man’s side. He helped Justice-Man design a suit of armor that would function like in the conditions of the mystical realm, but eventually the King noticed that Nork was acting differently, less loyal, more independent. Being the animator of this demon, he was also able to take its life away. Nork died, his energy returning to the King making him more powerful, but he died for a cause he believed in.

Beekeeper Review: Eddie Mapes

Hey, remember World War Two? It was kind of a big deal back in the day. Were there any beekeepers in there? Of course there were! Today’s beekeeper is from a story called “Hellfire by Night” in issue #278 of a series called GI Combat from DC Comics. It’s August in France in ’44 and an American outfit is trying to bring down a panzer tank.

Beekeeper Eddie Mapes is a private in the unit, but he isn’t very good at it. His Sergeant sees him as a worthless klutz and makes sure that Eddie know it. When the tank makes a sudden night attack, Eddie runs off into the woods and the Sarge thinks he was deserting, so he attempts to have him tried.

But actually, Eddie had never intended to desert. He’d actually gone out into the woods to find a beehive. Sarge considers this the craziest thing he ever heard, but the unit’s Captain decides to give him the benefit of the doubt and Eddie gets to go ahead with his plan. The next time the tank attacks, Eddie crawls stealthily up to it, climbs on top, opens the hatch and throws his beehive in. The Nazis are driven into a panic by this sudden bee assault and crash their tank and die. Promotion ahoy!

Note that Eddie could probably have done this plan just as well with a grenade. Or he could even have used the gun that he brought with him. But that ain’t how beekeepers roll.

We don’t know all that much about Eddie. He’s probably at least a normally successful beekeeper, but what about supernatural powers? Well, he holds on to the beehive for hours without so much as being bothered by a bee, so either they knew he was able to keep them calm (smokelessly) or they were just cool with him to begin with. Also, the fact he was able to find the beehive in the woods in the first place could be a sign of some sort of bee-sense. Nothing that raises him to the potential demi-god status of beekeeping, but it makes up for his initial failures as a fighter.

Two Honeycombs out of Five.